Mike, 24, Connecticut, fat, single, college student, Writing major, pizza guy, lazy person. Plz talk to me srsly u guise.
I’m turning 24 in a week, and apparently the most grievous of my adolescent rebellions is sneaking out for iced tea
But first, let me take a selfie
This is my “I’m too tired and out-of- it to read the things that I need to read” face
it’s not a good face
Brock just noticed that the tag on my shirt mentions that it’s made out of dad material
Such a rebel
Me and the wife. #throwbackthursday
Ready to geek out!
Ancient Hawaiians say: bourbon before bourbon before gin before gin before tequila before gin is probably an unwise decision.
I feel like we should be in a buddy cop movie or something. ‘Hawaii 5-0…0’
Ancient Hawaiians say: “Never eat the coconut you find in the dark.”
#tbt to Caroline’s Sweet 16 because I looked good for once. Definitely pulled off the bowtie/suspenders. Matt Smith knows what looks good.
Plz- call me “Commander”
I did like how I looked under the gown tho
But first- #letmetakeaselfie